Just One Girl

I've never been alone. Not really, not ever. Because he's always been there. I mean, we shared a womb, for rut's sake. You can't really get away from someone after that.

As kids, we'd do everything together. I was muscle, he was smarts. And he'd do anything I told him to, as well. He'd follow me everywhere. And I'd lead him everywhere. Never wanted to leave him. He was my everything.

Then one day I led him to his death.

When I woke up the next day, I thought I was alone, and it was the scariest feeling I've ever had in my life. My world had been ripped in two; it felt like half of myself had been killed under that monster's teeth. Erin blamed me of course – it was my fault – and I was on my own for the first time ever.

But I guess I was wrong. Four years later I was kidnapped by lurks and dragged off to their secret base, only to discover that my brother had been living – OK, un-living – all that time, watching me. And I know that he's still watching me, whatever I do. Waiting for me to fall.

OK, it's not a particularly warm fuzzy answer to the question, but what do you want me to say? That day I looked up through the pain and the concussion to see my twin brother looking down at me, looking exactly as he did the day he died. That day he beat me just to see me cry. That day he showed me how I'd helped him get the things he needed to open the gateway to hell, and kill everyone I knew and loved.

That day I knew I wasn't alone. That I'll never be alone.

Not until I kill him.

Muse: Melaka Fray
Fandom: Joss Whedon's Fray
Word Count: 299

Hey kiddo,

Look, I know you're not going to care what I say here. I know you're gonna try and laugh this off. Because I'd think this was spun too, and I'm you. But bear with me here, 'kay?

OK, y'know that thing where the all the other kids accuse you of being a pump? Where you can hit harder and run faster than anyone else? Where if you're not around, they give Harth grief for you bein' able to do all that stuff? Well, I got news for you, kid. You're a superhero.



OK, by now you've probably thrown this away. But now you're back. Because you've remembered there was more and you want to find out what it was – even if you're not going to believe a word of it because this is all toy. Glad we understand each other. So I'm just going to give you a whole bunch of ( advice )

- Mel.

Fandom: Joss Whedon's Fray
Muse: Melaka Fray
Word Count: 535

If you could find out one single fact about every person you met, what fact would you want to know?

Am I gonna hafta killya?

I just think that's the thing that can affect a relationship the most, y'know? It'd be goodta have that out at the beginning: Are y'evil? Willya try and kill my friends, threaten my world, bring about the apocalypse, any of that toy? 'Cause ifya are, I'd liketa get the killin' over and done with right away

The Slayer's supposedta get this special feeling about evil thin's. She should be able to detect lurks an' stuff usin' her instinct alone. Useful skill, that, 'cause lurks can look like normal humans if they wanna. Mosta them don't, nowadays, but they can, like Harth does. Me, I'd be happy just bein' able t'tell a normal demon from a radie, given the people I deal with on a daily basis. But no, I'm special. That part of the Slayer package went to big brother. For me, each time's a judgment call.

An' it's not exactly somethin' y'can ask straight up, is it? “Hi, goodta meetcha. Are y'evil?” Not really the best way t'start an acquaintance, right? Never mind that most people would lie. Or take too long t'answer. I'm tellin'ya, y'don't know pain until you've heard a hired thug goin' on about the subjectivity of morality and the 'false dichotomy of good and evil', whatever that toy's supposedta mean. I just wanna know if I'm gonna end up killin' ya. Don't need a lecture.

'Cause there's nothin' more annoyin' than meetin' someone, getting' t'know 'em, workin' with 'em, maybe even formin' a friendship, then havin' em murder someone you were supposedta look after, and you havin' t'kill them. That can really ruin your day, and I'd like it to stop happenin'.

'Course, it's always more complicated than that. But I kinda wish it weren't. Much as I like my life, much as I enjoy the fight, my job, bein' the Slayer, it'd be rocketship if it were all much simpler. If people would let me know right away: Am I gonna hafta kill 'em?

Muse: Melaka Fray
Fandom: Joss Whedon's Fray
Word count: 358

Made for milli_secrets because, well, I'm addicted.

In order of canonical reference, the first two refer to strict canon, the third to character development, and the others would really only make sense if you follow milliways_bar.

Yes, the Spanish one is pure crack.



( This creepifies me. I'm still not sure if she meant it )

( Wangst )

( doomy angst )

( Oh yes, she angsts even when happy. )

( This is just a photoshopped poster from a campaign run by Mexican ecologists. )

“She’s nothing.”

Harth has just died. Erin blames me. Which is right, it was my fault.

I took him grabbin’. I was stupid. I took him straight to a waiting lurk and got him killed.

The crunch of his throat under its teeth. I’m never going to forget that. I dream that sound every single night. I dream the look on its face, him weakly asking me for help, and me falling the distance to the ground, all the time, hearing it chugging at his blood.

And Erin blames me. I’m the strong one, the fast one. The one that can fight. The one that should have protected him. And I didn’t. He’s dead. And it’s my fault.

She can’t look at me, knowing I’ve got our brother killed. I can’t look at her without knowing that I got our brother killed. She comes to visit me in the hospital and has nothing to say to me other than:
“You took him on a grab and you got our brother killed.” Which is true, but all I want is her to hold me, to forgive me, to tell me it’s going to be all right. She just leaves.

I never go home after being let out.

In one night I’ve lost my brother and my sister. My entire family.

I’ve never felt so alone.


Muse: Melaka Fray
fandom: Joss Whedon's Fray
Word count: 224

It’s gonna be a massacre.

My brother’s gonna try to open a gateway to bring the demon world into this one. He’s got an army of lurks coming, and he’s gonna raze the place to the ground. And all I’ve got is a demon buddy and a shiny new axe.

And Versi.

It seems the entire warren’s turned out for this thing. Amma. Jove. Loo’s parents. Loo who I failed to protect, whose body I had to bear back to them. They’ve shown up with weapons and a gun to fight for the warren. Kettie Rawls on his rocketbike. Tryin' not to laugh at me the scrawny little thief and superhero leadin' all these people willin' to go to their death.
Even Erin, and her cavalry of cops who’ve seen enough of the lurks. No idea what they've been told about what's comin', but wor'ds got round. This is the last stand, for Versi, for Haddyn, perhaps for the world.Everyone's turned up.

They’re gonna get slaughtered, but they’re going to fight. Alongside me, led my me, it doesn’t matter. I’m not proud of myself. I’m proud of Versi. I'm proud that my faith in people wasn't misplace. I'm proud of the people. My people.

They’re going to do what’s right.

Muse: Melaka Fray
fandom: Joss Whedon's Fray
Word count: 211

I'm thirteen. It's a clear night in September.

Well, I say clear - nothing's really very clear these days, is it? Well, not usually, but if you go up far enough, you can almost get out of the general smog of the city, and almost see the sky.

And that's where I'm taking Harth now.

Thing is, Harth has always been a fan of the sky he can't see. I'm happy in the city: at home in the three dimensional maze of buildings and vehicles, climbing and running and jumping like a monkey in the jungle on one of those historical nature scopes. Harth, though, he’ll sit for hours in front of the scope screen, just soaking it all in. He'll watch anything really, but he loves history. He'll watch anything that has men on horses or girls in skirts: sword fights, romance, honour: he loves that toy.

But mostly he loves the sky. It's always so blue in the scopes, he says. Nowadays the sky over Haddyn's all sorts of shades of red and violet and yellow as pollutants mix with - well, other pollutants - in the air around the city. I don't mind it so much: I think it's dramatic, but Harth likes the blue from the scopes, and the stars. He loves that in the past they could see stars.

So, what better way to tell my brother I love him than to take him to see the stars? I'm not so spun as to try and get out of the protecting fog while the sun's beating down - I like my DNA as it is, thank you - but after dark, that's safe. The building I'm taking him to has an official name, I think, but I don't know it. We just call it The Needle. Anyway, it's big. Tallest in New York, by all accounts. Apartments, mostly. Folks rich enough to afford somewhere this far above the rest of the city, up above where the usual smog and cloud obscure the light, well, they don’t tend to want to become radies, so they don’t tend to have windows.

And that’s good, because then they can’t see me climbing up the outside of the building with Harth on my back.

Security’s tight, of course, place like this, but as long as there’s no windows, and no way of actually getting into the apartment, there’s nothing I can’t dodge, leap over, or avoid altogether. I’m gonna be a professional grabber one day, this is nothin’.

Harth’s clinging to me. He always was terrified of heights. But I’m not going to let him fall. His hands slip and I just grab onto him. I’d carry him slung over my shoulder if I wasn’t worried about him chucking down my back. That’s not the point, though, anyway. Climbin’s just getting there. And when we break out of the cloud cover, his complaints stop. I cover the last few yards quickly without his whines, and bring him to the top of the building.

“Oh, Mel!” He says, staring up at the sky above. “Look at it, Mel!”

I’m looking of course. That’s why I brought him up here, but I punch him lightly in the arm. “See, Scaredy, toldya it would be worth it!”

He won’t go near the edge of the roof of course, but sinks to his knees right in the center of the roof, head back, mouth open, just gaping at the sight. It’s kinda shiny, I guess. But when it gets down to it, it’s just black with white dots. Harth thinks it’s rocketship though, and that’s what matters. I sit down next to him, wrapping my arms arm around me for warmth and look up with him.

Harth leans back automatically so we’re lying down, and starts pointing out constellations. “That one there,” he says, “is Cassiopeia. She was the mother of Andromeda, and…” and he carries on with that for hours, telling me stories from his scopes that I have no way of telling whether he’s spinning me or not.

Erin’s gonna be skitzed when we get home. She’ll be skitzed we left without telling her and even more so next week when Harth accidentally lets slip we’ve climbed The Needle. She’ll yell at both of us, spin some line about how she’s doin’ the best she can but we need to be responsible, and Harth’ll be so upset about it that I’ll never be able to persuade him to go back. Within a year, Harth’ll be dead.

But I don’t know any of that now. Now, I’m just lying next to my twin brother, our arms around each other for warmth and comfort, staring up at the stars and listening to his voice.

That is the memory I want to take with me.

Muse: Melaka Fray
Fandom: Fray
Word Count: 801

I once told my sister Erin that I don’t trust anyone. I’m still not sure whether I was telling the truth or not.

See, we were talkin’ about my boss, Gunther. He’d turned me into the laws, and Erin was telling me that I couldn’t trust him. Which is fair enough, but I found out afterwards he did it because he thought it would save my ass.

So I guess he was looking out for me, in his own way. He’s good people, Gunther, even if he is a fish. He’s not the sentimental sort, but he does watch my back, kinda. Even if he can be a little creepy sometimes, he’s not that bad. He’d not deliberately set me up.

Which brings me back to the trust thing. See, while it’s dangerous to trust anyone completely in this world, sometimes you gotta realise that you can trust one or two people more than most.

Did I trust Urkonn? The demon who acted as my watcher and killed a five year old girl to get me to work for him? Not really, no more than I trust most people. I didn’t leave her in his care or anything. She just turned up and I wasn’t there to help her.

But Gunther? I know Gunther. I reckon I have a good idea what goes on in his head nowadays, and I know he tries to do what’s right in his spun head. I guess that means I do trust him, really.

And Erin. ‘Cause you hafta don’t you? Trust family. We’re trying to rebuild our relationship: we were never that close growing up but now we’re all we each have. It’s something that happens when sisters band together to stop their brother destroying the world: they get closer. Trust’s a big part of that.

So I guess I wasn’t tellin’ the truth really. I was angry and stressed and blurted it out. Maybe I wouldn’t trust anyone to the end of the Earth or anything, but simple, day-to-day trusting of people you know and care about, that I can do.

Muse: Melaka Fray
Fandom: Fray
Words: 349